Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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