So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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