haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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