Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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