at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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