Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
