I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
