Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
