Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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