im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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