Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
