i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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