I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
