How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize