Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
