I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize