I am puke
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Drake has all the answers
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
