Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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