I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
