He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
