it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
