I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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