True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We don't watch enough power rangers
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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