just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
