Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
