it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
