I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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