Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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