I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
