We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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