he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
