I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
