Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
