the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
