Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
