No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
