You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
