can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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