Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
