she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
