Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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