I am puke
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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