I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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