I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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