dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
