heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize