I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
