But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
