but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
