why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
