Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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