You really coming over, don't trick.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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