My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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