I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
