i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
