he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
