He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
