yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
