dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
