i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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