After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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