Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize