So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
