high people should be assigned attendants
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
