I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
