Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
