so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
