You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
